How to Annoy a Shinigami
by Jiyugami-chan
Summary: Exactly what it sounds like. Not limited to Shinigami. You request the characters. NOTE: I am only on episode 88 of the anime. I do not know some characters. T because, I, like my fellow writers, am paranoid. Note to Admins: this is not a list alone. It is a list with a reaction at the end. Thank you all for understanding. Or not. Your call.
1. Ichigo

**So, with all the 'How to Annoy _' stories, I thought I would write one for Bleach**.

**I was originally writing this for Soul Eater, but nobody seemed to like it, so I took it down. **

**Request characters you want me to annoy in the reviews. BTW, I don't own Bleach or anything referenced in the story.**

**CHAPTER 1- Kurosaki Ichigo**

* * *

1. Order 1000 kilo of rotten strawberries. Put them all in his room. Bonus points if you made a rotten strawberry smoothie, then put it in his room.

2. Push Renji on top of him, then call it forbidden love.

3. Or do number 2 with Byakyua.

4. Or both.

5. Tell him how babies are made, with Rukia in the same room.

6. For number 5, have Rukia pelt him with random objects whenever he says anything.

7. Steal his sister Yuzu's PJ's. ALL of them.

8. Better yet, steal all his PJ's. Feel free to set them on fire. In front of him.

9. Have Rukia draw a portrait of him. Print it on flyers and put them all over town. Bonus points if you can get Renji to give him one and tell him it's a shame it isn't his real face.

10. Scream in his face for no reason. When he tells you to shut up, claim you didn't say anything.

11. Call him Orange-chan. In front of Renji. Bonus points if Renji calls him Orange-chan too.

12. Lock him in a small room with his dad. If he begs to be let out, tell him that he has to tell you the secret password. Once he figures out the password, change it.

13. Remind him that a girl lived in his closet for two months. If he acts embarrassed, call him a dirty perv for the rest of the day.

14. Or week.

15. Or month. Or year. Heck, call him a dirty perv for the rest of his life.

16. Whenever you see him, say 'Guess what?'. When he says 'What?', say 'Chicken butt'. Bonus points if you can get Kon to do it too. More bonus points if you can get Kon to do it at the same time as you.

17. When you talk to him, streeeeeeeeeeeetch ooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuut yooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuur vooooooooooooweeeeeeeeeeels.

18. Tell him that "The party is ending at 2 AM, so whatever you must do, do it now."

19. Stare at him for a long time. Then look away. Then stare at him some more. Then poke him. Look away for a long time. Then stand up on a chair, and announce that he has bought $800 worth in underwear, and that they all have pictures of bathing suit models on them.

20. Tell him that his name is Mr. Sunny Day, Goddess of rainbows and flowers.

21. Do everything on this list. Before he attempts to kill you, disappear into nothingness.

* * *

Ichigo thought he'd go insane. He was so glad he had woken up

"Ichigo, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yeah...It's just..."

"What?"

"I hate...blue dragons. Bright blue dragons... I hate them."

"Ichigo, did you forget to take your medicine again?"


	2. Rukia

**So, um, pinoychick143, I say: thanks for your review! Unfortunately, you didn't say which character you wanted next, so I'm doing Rukia. **

**I don't own anything I reference or mention.**

**I don't own Bleach. I do own a box of OxiClean though. **

**PLEASE TELL ME WHO YOU WANT NEXT!**

**CHAPTER 2- KUCHIKI RUKIA**

* * *

1. Knock out Ichigo. Glue him to her bed.

2. Tell her that her drawings suck, and then turn around praise somebody with drawings that are way worse.

3. Play 'Dumb Ways to Die' looped on your computer and put a protective barrier around it so she can't smash it.

4. Show her an OOC IchiRuki lemon. Or an IchiRuki lemon. Same thing.

5. Take an extremely realistic bunny plush. Remove the stuffing and replace with tomato paste. Tie Rukia to a chair. Take a knife and cut off the bunny's head in front of her.

6. Tell her that 'Chappy the Rabbit' should get changed to 'Crappy the Rabbit.'

7. whatever you say. Make. Your. Words. Choppy.

8. Sing 'Dust in The Wind' whenever she walks into the room.

9. Bonus points if you have bell-bottoms on while you sing

10. Switch all her clothes with ones that are way too big

11. Reject all her opinions

12. Ask her if she likes Ichigo.

13. If the answer is yes, tease her about it

14. If the answer is no, keep asking her until you: a. Die b. get her to say yes.

15. Lock her in a closet with Ichigo and Renji

16. Or just lock her in a closet.

17. Either would work

18. Just remember to keep them in there for at least 30 minutes.

19. Cosplay as Ichigo and ask her out

20. If you are a girl, get a male friend to do it. Or Crossplay, if it's possible.

21. Have Ichigo cloned and have a clone live in all of the closets she has access to.

* * *

The now-purple dragon was curled up in the corner. She used to be blue, but got her scales soaked by her own blood.

"Never again."

A lightly beat up Komodo dragon was in the other corner.

"I can't believe you actually convinced me to dress up as a cartoon character for your writing!"

"Shut up, Cookie. It's called anime. Get out of my writing before our classmates read this and think we're dating. "

The smaller lizard went poof and disappeared into nothingness.

"Remind me again why the frick I'm friends with that womanizer."

A white wolf paced the floor.

"Cause you like him."

"That was THIRD GRADE! Sheesh."

"See, this is why I don't watch Naruto."

"It's BLEACH, Joy Song! It's BLEACH!"

"Whatever. I still haven't watched One Piece, or Hetalia. So until I start those…"

"You're not watching Bleach, or Naruto, or Tokyo Underground, or OSAHSC, or whatever else I recommended to you. And why don't you write that Dr. Who fanfic that's in your head? You should."

"Eh. I'm busy with other stuff. Plus, I don't get that much TV time."

"Okay. Just promise you'll look up _Proud Mary _and listen to it. CCR Rocks! Peace out, Yo!"

"She don't watch no Dr. Horrible, I don't watch no Naruto."

* * *

**That was me and my friend's reaction.**

**My friends-**

**Joy song- wolf, FT and Dr. Who fanatic, Les Miz nut, thinks I like a guy who I'm ****_friends_**** with.**

**Cookie- Komodo dragon, COD and Assassin's creed fan, not an anime fan (as far as I know) **


	3. Orhime

**Okay, so I'm doing Orhime! This shall be weird… and difficult… thanks for the reviews and favs and follows! Next is Renji, then Toshiro. THIS CHAPTER IS PROBABLY MORE OOC THAN ****THE SAGE****!**

**PS I don't own Bleach or anything referenced**

1. Cosplay as Ishida and act as stupid as possible

2. Then start acting serious

3. Then go into dummy mode like you're Tamaki (From OHSHC)

4. Or Naruto.

5. NOTE: you do not have to be a boy to Cosplay as Ishida. You just need to exist.

6. Go on an anti-robot campaign

7. Or go hatin' on Astro Boy

8. Scream in her face like the dickens

9. Then when she asks you what you want, say 'hi'

10. If she shows the slightest annoyance, cry and complain that she's mean

11. Then retire to your emo corner and act emo.

12. Do not be alarmed if Chrona (Soul Eater) joins you.

13. Show her a Tatsuki X Orhime lemon.

14. It should be creepy

15. And a multi-chapter.

16. And DETAILED! *Nudge, Nudge, wink, wink*

17. Use spell check when typing her name in on Word.

18. It should be: Inonu Prime.

19. Once she's insulted, say it sounds funny.

20. Call her weird.

21. Leave the #22 on this list blank to go finish OHSHC.

22.

* * *

"RAHRG!"

"Uh, Inoue..."

"Yeah?"

"When you take over the world..."

"Yeah?"

"I call dibs on killing that blue dragon."

"Suit yourself."


	4. Renji

**Renji is here to be annoyed. This time, it's me and my pals who are getting annoyed. I don't own Bleach or anything referenced.**

1. Call him 'Berenji' (that means 'you're uncooked rice' in Farsi) when he is confused, tell him what it means.

2. Make him do the 'Caramelldansen'

3. Sing a terrible Karaoke dedicated to him

4. Ask him if he dyes his hair.

5. When he denies, call him tomato.

6. Then yank out a strand of his hair and tie it to his and some random females' pinkie.

7. Bonus points if he knows her.

8. More bonus points if she's old.

9. Even more if she's young

10. And related to another main character

11. Preferably Ichigo

12. Ask him where he gets his hair done

13. Call him _Redhead Gajeel-chan_

14. Trick him into signing a marriage document with Uruhara.

15. or Ichigo.

16. Or both.

17. Both of them are preferred.

18. Get him to dress up as a bunny and break into Rukia's house on Easter

19. Bonus points if you get him to smash the wall with his Bankai

20. And more if he dresses his Bankai up as a bunny too.

21. Do everything on this list, then when he asks you why you're doing it, say, 'It's because I'm EVIL' and run as far away as possible.

* * *

The dragon was purple again.

"It took forever to wash the bloodstains out, too."

An owl fluttered overhead.

"So, how was your day today?"

"Served with ketchup on the top."

The owl laughed hard.

"You should watch Dr. Who."

"You should watch anime."

"Why?"

"It'll double your awesome factor. Take it from me."

"Nah."

"There's an anime ."

"I'm in."

**That was my friend Theeny the Owl. By the way, only one of my friends is actually on and I don't know her Penname, because it's different than her name..**


	5. Toshiro

**I have decided to post another chapter, and OH MY GAWD 13 REVIEWS!**

**THANK YOU, MERCI, ARIGATO, AND DANKE!**

**Also, I don't own Bleach or whatever I reference, yadda yadda.**

**Hitsugaya Toshiro**

1. Instead of finishing your paperwork, paste it all onto the floor and paint it to look like actual floorboards.

2. When he asks what happened to the paperwork, respond by saying that 'It's become a little more down-to-earth'.

3. With the help of Hinamori, force him to cross-dress.

4. Without the help of Hinamori, force him to cross-dress.

5. Paste 'Fatheads' of Ichimaru all over his office walls.

6. Sing nothing but 'White Christmas' over and over again.

7. Preferably in a high, squeaky voice.

8. Ask him if he's interested in getting a FaceBook.

9. If he answers yes, shove a book in his face.

10. Then run like the devils' at your heels.

11. If no, ask him if he's interested in getting a FaceBook.

12. Repeat the cycle 4-5 times.

13. Force-feed him dried fruit.

14. Force-feed him dried crap.

15. Force-feed him both.

16. Say 'Hey hey hey'

17. When he says 'What' say 'Can Whitey-chan play?'

18. Tell him he's too young to die…except he's already dead.

19. Lock him in a small room with Matsumoto, and 100 bottles of rice sake. Film his reaction.

20. On his birthday, give him a stack of paperwork tied with a red velvet ribbon.

21. Enter him in a synchronized swimming contest, with a bunch of drunken Matsumoto clones as teammates.

* * *

"That dragon… it shall die. I shall bury it in paperwork."

Toshiro scowled.

"And then I can play soccer with its head."

**Yay! Over!**


	6. Urahara

**After so long, I decided to start up. Okay. These are the results of the polling:**

**Ukitake- 1, Urahara- 3, Kenpachi- 1, Karin- 1, Hanataro- 1, Byakuya- 1.**

**So Urahara won. YAY! I don't own Bleach, or anything I reference.**

1. Stuff a tied-up Yoruchi in his closet.

2. When he asks you, 'why did you stuff Yoruchi in my closet' attempt to convince him that he tied her up and put her in there because 'He's a pervy businessman with a pervy business PLAN.'

3. He will admit to being a pervert, so record him saying 'I'm a pervert' on video and send it to Mayuri, who you have bribed with cookies to broadcast it all over Soul Society.

4. Send Sui Fong some Yoruchi/Urahara fan art. Make sure to provide her with a loaded paint gun and several stink bombs.

5. Have Sui Fong go Super-Saiyan on his shop.

6. Force him to play Zelda CD I for three days straight while listening to a looped version of the Jigglypuff song.

7. For no. 6, substitute Zelda CD I for Sonic '06.

8. Sing 'Dragonstea din tea' till he goes nuts.

9. Throw him into a pit filled with starving rabid fangirls.

10. Have him try to match his pervyness with Kakashi Hatake.

11. Lick a lollipop.

12. Give it to him.

13. Tell him 'I licked that lollipop.'

14. Run.

15. Have him do the 'Caramelldansen'

16. If you have gas, turn your butt to his face. Before cutting it, say 'Way of Destruction No. 9000! FART IN YO FACE!'

17. When you buy something from his shop, bring coupons.

18. Hang a sign up near his shop that says 'This store sucks. Go to Shop Rite for food and Walmart for anything else.'

19. Whenever he tries to talk, walk into the room and sing 'THAT! THAT! DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY'

20. Make a huge report on ways that he and Max Headroom are alike.

21. Present him the report in a serious manner.

* * *

"I CANT BELIEVE HE RIPPED ME OFF THAT MUCH!"

"I don't watch Bleach, but I know one thing. Anime characters get annoyed easily."

"Yeah. You know what? I think I should have done this for FMA instead. I could have a bunch of fun with the FMA cast."

"That would have been funny."

**THAT! THAT! DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY! Aerosmith rocks!**


	7. AN

Ok, so I haven't got anybody saying who they want me to mess with next. Here are your choices:

Ukitake

Kenpachi

Karin

Hanataro

Byakuya

They are all tied, so I want to do these guys one after the other. Also, who the sausage is Ulquiorra? I'm currently on the bount arc. **** fillers.


End file.
